1、Dan’s Mother: How can you just sit there?my son is going to die
House: If I eat standing up, I spill.
2、Luke: Is this a good hospital?
House: Depends on what you mean by "good". I like the chairs.
3、Dr. Foreman: Isn’t treating patients why we became doctors?
House: No, treating illnesses is why we became doctors. Treating patients is what makes most doctors miserable.
4、Dr. Wilson: I love my wife.
House: You certainly love saying it.
house:you talk to God,you’re religious.God talks to you,you’re psychotic.
6、House: But I have a theory. There is one chemical that, if ingested, it causes a person’s estrogen level to increase dramatically.
Bill: What is it?
House: It’s called…estrogen.
7、Dr. Forman: Ten-year olds do not have heart attacks. It’s got to be a mistake.
House: Right. The simplest explanation is she’s a 40-year old lying about her age. Maybe an actress trying to hang on.
House: You’re not going to be President either way – they don’t call it the White House because of the paint job
9、House: People don’t want a sick doctor.
Dr. Wilson: That’s fair enough, I don’t like healthy patients.
10、Dr. Foreman: Oh, Cameron, I need you for a couple of hours.
Dr. Cameron: What’s up?
Dr. Foreman: When you break into a house, its always better to have a white chick with you.
11、House: What would you prefer – a doctor who holds your hand while you die or who ignores you while you get better?I guess it would particularly suck to have a doctor who ignores you while you die.
12、House: Another reason I don’t like meeting patients. If they don’t know what you look like, they can’t yell at you.
13、Dr. Wilson: You will lie, cheat and steal to get what you want, but you’re incapable of kissing a little ass?
House: Well, we all have our limitations.
14、House: No, there is not a thin line between love and hate. There is a Great Wall of China with armed sentries posted every 20’ between love and hate.
15、House: Lift up your arms. You have a parasite.
Jill: Like a tapeworm or something?
House: Lie back and lift up your sweater.You can put your arms down.
Jill: Can you do anything about it?
House: Only for about a month or so. After that it becomes illegal to remove, except in a couple of states.
House: Don’t worry. Many women learn to embrace this parasite. They name it, dress it up in tiny clothes, arrange playdates with other parasites…
House: (showing her sonogram) It has your eyes.
16、Dr. House: The most successful marriages are based on lies. You’re off to a great start.
17、Dr. Wilson: I’m still amazed you’re in the same room as a patient
House: People don’t bother me until they get teeth.
18、House: It turns out your best judgment is not good enough. Here’s an idea – next time, use mine
19、House: As long as you’re trying to be good, you can do whatever you want.
Dr. Wilson: And as long as you’re not trying, you can say whatever you want.
House: So between us, we can do whatever we want. We can rule the world!
20、House: You told me you had not changed your diet or exercise. Were you lying?
House: Does your husband have high blood pressure?
Samantha: My husband?
House: Yeah, see, if you’re going to repeat everything I say, this conversation’s going to take twice as long.
21、House: So what’s her name and when do I get to meet her?
Dr. Wilson: There’s nobody! Give it up!
House: Your lips say no, but your shoes say yes.
Dr. Wilson: They’re French. You can’t trust a word they say.
22、Dr. Foreman: Why are you riding on me?
House: It’s what I do. Has it gotten worse lately?
Dr. Foreman: Yeah. Seems to me.
House: Really? Well, that rules out the race thing. You were just as black last week.
23、Dr. Cameron: I’ll check into it.
Dr. Foreman: I’ll make the call.
Dr. Chase: I’ll keep the kid alive. For a while at least.
House: I’ll have lunch.
24、Dr. Foreman: The kid was just taking his AP calculus exam when all of a sudden he got nauseous and disoriented.
House: That’s the way calculus presents.
25、House: I assume "minimal at best" is your stiff upper lip British way of saying "no chance in hell"?
Dr. Chase: I’m Australian.
House: You put the Queen on your money. You’re British.
26、Julia: I thought you were supposed to be listening to our patient histories?
House: No, I’m supposed to be teaching you. If I can do that without listening to you, more power to me.
27、Dr. Cameron: Yeah, I I trusted you.
House: You always trust me. That’s a big mistake.
28、House: I take risks – sometimes patients die. But not taking risks causes more patients to die. So I guess my biggest problem is I’ve been cursed with the ability to do the math.
29、Dr. Cuddy: Answer me.
House: Nothing I could say is going to change how you feel, and nothing could come out of your reaction that is going to change what I plan to do. So I prefer to say nothing.
30、Dr. Foreman: You know, House shouldn’t even be here!
Dr. Chase: Because he said something inappropriate? If we sent him home every time he did that, he’d never be here. We wouldn’t even need his office.
31、Dr. Cameron: I was the first person (House) ran into. He just asked me.
Dr. Chase: Yeah, like a date.
Dr. Cameron: Exactly. Except for the “date” part.
House: But I had three reasons.
Dr. Cuddy: Good ones?
House: Well, lets see in a minute – I’m just making them up now.
BLAH BLAH BLAH…..(CUDDY没买帐)
House: Which brings me to my fourth reason.
Dr. Cuddy: I thought you said there were only three?
House: I thought you’d buy one of them.
32、Dr. Wilson: Who?
House: Kevin. In Bookkeeping.
Dr. Wilson: Okay, well first of all, his name is Carl.
House: I call him Kevin. It’s his secret friendship club name.
33、Dr. Wilson: How do you know she needs a heart transplant?
House: I got my aura read today. It said someone close to me had a broken heart.
34、Dr. Wilson: You lied, didn’t you?
House: I never lie.
Dr. Wilson: Big mistake.